21 Things a Burglar Won't Tell You

13 Things a Burglar Won't Tell You
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  1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

  1. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

  2. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ? and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

  1. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

  2. If it snows while you?re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

  1. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don?t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it?s set. That makes it too easy.

  2. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom?and your jewelry. It?s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

  1. It?s raining, you?re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door?understandable. But understand this: I don?t take a day off because of bad weather.

  2. I always knock first. If you answer, I?ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don?t take me up on it.)

  1. Do you really think I won?t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

  2. Here?s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids? rooms.

  1. You?re right: I won?t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it?s not bolted down, I?ll take it with me.

  2. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you?re reluctant to leave your TV on while you?re out of town, you can buy a device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

8 More Things a Burglar Won't Tell You

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  1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

  1. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

  2. I?ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he?ll stop what he?s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn?t hear it again, he?ll just go back to what he was doing. It?s human nature.
  3. I?m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

  1. I love looking in your windows. I?m looking for signs that you?re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I?d like. I?ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

  2. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It?s easier than you think to look up your address.

  1. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it?s an invitation.

  2. If you don?t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
Reply to
G. Morgan
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Nice post. I especially like #3 of the second set. I don't know how many times I've been working in the yard, hear something out of place, stop, listen for a few moments then go back to what I was doing 'cause I don't hear it again.

The bit about the pizza flyer is something I'd never heard about before. Funny thing is, we never use the front door, in fact, can't even open it without moving a bunch of plants. I've had flyers & such stuck in my front door for months - never gave it a second thought. Good thing we always set our alarm when we leave.

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On 6 how does having an alarm pad visable make it easy. How about the pro looking painting crew that shows up, but they are not there to paint, lock your ladders and gates.

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Missed this part, didja? "... where I can see if it's set"

Reply to
Doug Miller

That has a lot of good information in it, but it is also good to keep in mind that many burglars are just stupid and don't read the how to book.

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Heh! I bet the burglar would also say "I don't like this sign:"

Attention Thieves:

  1. We never respond to an unexpected knock.
  2. We are armed.


Attention Thieves:

  1. There are no guns in this house
  2. Be gentle
Reply to

snipped-for-privacy@milmac.com (Doug Miller) wrote in news:h82tne$peh$ snipped-for-privacy@news.eternal-september.org:

don't they have LEDs indicating "armed" ?? red(for armed) or green (unarmed)LEDs?

Reply to
Jim Yanik

Yes. Seeing red may be a bit of a deterrent, but you certainly don't want them to see green if you are not home or you are sleeping

Reply to
Ed Pawlowski

Maybe I'll open my windows a crack and put a weeks worth of news papers on the front step just so I can drop you in a pool of blood where you belong.

Reply to
Dan Blocker

It also depends on the pedigree of your thief, which is dependent upon their intended mark. Around here, we mostly get crank addicts looking for a quick grab. Other parts of the country, the thieves are more professional.

A few years ago here locally a woman got some jewelery swiped. She was mowing her lawn, and left the door unlocked while she was mowing/weeding/cleaning up. Thief walked by, said, "Hi!", then when she went to the other side of the house just walked in a took what he wanted.

I lock the door now when I mow the lawn.


Reply to
Jon Danniken

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My doors all have a brightly colored sign saying:


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Most burglars around these parts would have no idea what the second sentence means. A significant portion of them would have trouble with the first sentence. An obvious lit-up camera, even a dummy one, would have a greater deterrent effect.

I got robbed at least 3 times that I can recall in the apartments I moved from to this house, and another couple times in the apartment before that. Been here 49 months- no problems so far, knock on wood. (Other than getting TP'd once by kids.) Semi-rural location in a dead-end subdivision, and every 2nd or 3rd house having a dog, helps.

Oh, almost forgot- the final time my apartment got robbed, they were in there at least an hour- long enough to decant 3 5-gallon jugs of pennies into all my backpacks and duffel bags. Good thing they were too stupid to see the 2+ quarts of dimes sitting on the shelf not 2 feet away.

-- aem sends...

-- aem sends...

Reply to

I love working on engines, but does that make me a "crank addict"? It takes about an hour to pull a "crank" from an engine. Police response times in your area must be the pits! :-)

Yeah, they tow the car to a "friendly" garage first. ;-)

Reply to
Frank Olson

  1. Never mind the Dog: Beware of Owner!!
  2. Survivors will be SHOT twice.
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One of my neighbors placed a sign on his mailbox warning that the place was under video surveillance. The postman told him he had to remove the sign. :^)

Reply to
Robert L Bass

So will my 145 pound mastiff - trained not to bark.

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Lot's and lots of years ago, I was putting flyers in mail boxes in some of the newer home developement areas. I got a phone call from the postmaster in that area telling me that it was a Federal law that flyers could not be put in mail boxes, nor could anything be attached to the box related to business or advertising. $5 or 10,000.00 fine .... if I remember right.

I noticed also that quite a number of years ago, the local delivery newpapers were no longer being put in the mailboxes as they'd been for decades. Now they're thrown in peoples driveways. I guess the Post Office got to them too.

Although I no longer have anything to wrap up waste in, I haven't had a newspaper delivered for lots of years. Even though that now days, wraping waste is the only thing they're good for.

Reply to

Per G. Morgan:

I'd bet that somebody more creative than Yours Truly could do something with this - along the lines of the proposed NRA steamship cruise into Somali waters.

Reply to

I saw this at a farmers' market in a rural part of PA just outside suburban Philadelphia:

Trespassers - beware of flying objects! They will be bullets!

- Don Klipstein ( snipped-for-privacy@misty.com)

Reply to
Don Klipstein

I tell people not to leave their garage door opener remote in their car in plain view...open the overhead door and you're pretty much in since most people don't lock the door from garage into the house.

And of course when having your car serviced at a shop never give them anything but your car keys.

Reply to
Crash Gordon

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