Bill Cosby tells the story about the guy who was mugged a number of times and decided he was going to take up Karate. He takes classes for about two years and gets a few belts (what ever the colors are)

He decides he's going to walk down the streets in the neighborhoods where he'd been mugged. Sure enough, some guy pops out of the ally and says 'gimme all your money" The victim jumps up in the air, throw a few "air" punches and yell KARATE! The mugger, unphased, swinging from behind his back yells .... MONKEYWRENCH!

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Then Bass comes by after following the "muscle car", pulls over and screams "REPLICA".

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Nelson Muntz

He had another one where he talks about learning how to disarm a mugger who is behind you by tightening up your elbow and turning around quickly thus striking the perp. (didn't sound too effective even when I was a kid - but its a joke...)

He says tht with his newfound confidence he was strolling the streets with money hanging out of his pockets hoping to be mugged and sure enough one day there was a voice from behind him, "gimme your dough."

He says, "I tighten up my elbow, quick turn around... it was a midget."

"What are you? Some kind of song and dance man? Gimme your dough before I blow your kneecaps off."

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