Perhaps if you knew how and where to look thing up you wouldn't need such a vivid imagination. The call was more like this.
Bob: I need help programming X10...
Me: Just a sec. Let me check the manual...
[click... wait... click... wait...]Me: OK, here it is. There's a file on Honeywell's MyWeb Tech that says how to do it. I'll email it to you and post it in ASA so anyone who needs to know can read it.
In between looking up the answer and sharing it with the gentleman, we also had time to laugh at the idiots who post the sort of thing you just did.