The _________ Is Beeping

I have had customers tell me the ___________ is beeping in the middle of the night for no good reason.

a) Keypad b) Window Contact c) Motion Sensor d) ____________ (other) e) All of the above

Reply to
Bob La Londe
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LOL

So Bob, I know I shouldn't ask, but is this a trick question??

OR

Just a quiz, for the feeble minded??

Lets go for a)

No No No!! d) __Your_Keypad__ Final Answer!!

Les

Reply to
ABLE1

On 4/11/2021 2:41 PM, ABLE1 wrote: > On 4/11/2021 2:03 PM, Bob La Londe wrote: >> I have had customers tell me the ___________ is beeping in the middle >> of the night for no good reason. >>

I've had more than a few customers tell me my keypad was beeping.

RING! RING!

Them: Your stupid keypad is beeping.

Me: Wow, have can you tell?

Them: Because its infernally loud and annoying?

Me: I'm impressed. Your hearing is amazing.

Them: SO WHY IS IT BEEPING???

Me: Hold on let me go look.... It says low battery.

Them: So what are you going to do about it?

Me: I'm going to go upstairs to the communications room and change the battery.

Them: We don't have an upstairs.

Me: Ok. I do and that's where my control panel is.

Them: WHAT???!!!???!!!

Me: Oh, is your keypad beeping?

Them: YES! THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU!

Me: No you told me my keypad was beeping. I was impressed that you could hear it from your house.

Them: Are some kind of dumb ass?

Me: No not at all. I am a smart ass.

Them: So what are you going to do about it.

Me: I'm going to go upstairs and change my alarm backup battery. I already told you that.

Them: I MEAN ABOUT MY KEYPAD BEEPING YOU MOTHER ____ING TWIT!

Me: Just a moment... Oh, I see you cancelled service two years ago with a past due balance. I do not perform service for accounts with a past due balance.

Them: WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?

Me: Well, you could sell your house.

Them: ARE YOU STUPID?

Me: No not at all. The new owner wouldn't have a past due balance. I would not have an issue performing a service call for them.

Them: Can you tell me how to shut the darn thing up.

Me: You want me to tell somebody over the phone how to disable an alarm system? What if you are a burglar calling from your house? No I couldn't perform that service for you even if you didn't have a past due balance.

Them: WELL I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR KEYPAD OFF THE WALL!

Me: I do hope you mean your keypad. You can do what you like to your property as far as I am concerned. If you rip my keypad off the wall I'll file a criminal damage complaint against you.

Them: YOUR AN ASSHOLE!

Me: I can just hear you misspelled that.

Them: WHAT?!?! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?

Me: Well a minute ago you threatened to tear my keypad off the wall, but I really think you meant you were going to tear your keypad off the wall. That's my best guess as to your plans anyway.

Them: How can I get this fixed?

Me: If you want me to fix it mail me a check for $xxx.xx to cover your past due balance.

Them: Then will you come fix it.

Me: After I receive a deposit to cover the cost of the service call since you have a history of not paying your bill sure.

Them: Well how much is that?

Me: $xxx.xx

Them: Forget it!

Me: Ok, <CLICK>

RING! RING!

Them: YOU HUNG UP ON ME YOU JERK!

Me: Who is this?

Them: This the person who was just complaining that your keypad is beeping and driving me crazy.

Me: Just a second. Oh yeah. You told me to forget it so I figured the best way to do that was to stop talking about it.

Them: So are you going to fix it or not.

Me: I already did. My keypad isn't beeping any longer.

Them: What is wrong with you?

Me: Nothing I am aware? Why? What have you heard? Did my doctor violate my HIPA rights and tell you something?

Them: Your keypad is driving me crazy?

Me: I don't understand. I'm sitting right next to it and its not making a sound. I told you when you called before I was going to go upstairs and change the battery.

Them: NO!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY KEYPAD?!?

Me: Nothing I don't service past due accounts.

Them: Can I pay the bill?

Me: Sure. You are always welcome to pay your bills. In fact society encourages one to pay their debts.

Them: Then will you come fix my keypad?

Me: Oh, is your keypad broken?

Them: I TOLD YOU ITS BEEPING.

Me: I'm not sure you ever actually stated that your keypad was beeping, but that's not an indication that its broken. Its probably functioning exactly how its supposed to and telling you there is a problem with your alarm system.

Them: Are you trying to be smart?

Me: No. I am already relatively smart. I'm trying to be patient.

Them: So are you going to fix my alarm or not?

Me: I do not perform service for past due accounts.

Them: So what the hell am I supposed to do?

Me: Well if you have changed your mind about your previous plan of action might I suggest you reconsider mine?

Them: What?

Me: Sell your house.

Them: Screw You Asshole! <CLICK!)

RING! RING!

Them: Hey I just bought this house that has your alarm decals on it, and there is a giant hole in the wall with a keypad stuffed into. Could I pay you to come out and fix it?

Me: Sure. I can be over there in the morning. I do not paint match, but I can suggest a guy.

Them: That would be great. See you tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Some all or none of these things may or may not have been said, done, or have happened.

Reply to
Bob La Londe

You forgot: f) Refrigerator power loss alarm g) Stove Power loss alarm h) Battery powered smoke detector low battery alarm i) 120VAC powered smoke detector low battery alarm j) Battery powered smoke detector stuffed in bottom dresser drawer low battery alarm k) Alarm clock stuffed in bottom dresser drawer l) CO2 detector low battery alarm m) wrist watch alarm in jewelry box n) Clothes dryer finished alarm o) garage overhead door stuck alarm p) kids toy in toy box q) message notification on new telephone answering machine r) House generator fail to test start - - alarm s) Computer UPS weak battery alarm. t) Home theater power filter low battery alarm

And I'm sure there's more that I have forgotten.

Reply to
Jim Davis

Bob,

That is Priceless. Thanks for the giggles and smiles!!

Les

Reply to
ABLE1

This is fun!!

u) Dishwasher Door is Open v) Basement Drain Wet alarm w) Battery powered smoke detector on top shelf of closet under hats and gloves behind keypad.

Reply to
ABLE1

actually happened to me.. Got a call later in afternoon. Customer advising me a beeping / tone was sounding and they couldn't find it... They said it sounded like a fire alarm, but they couldn't find any smoke.. I made a quick dash over to their house.. While checking their house I could hear the sound.. Was able to locate it's source, a battery powered toy flute was under a bed with a shoe on top of one of the keys....

Well a lot of sheepish look were all around....

Never did get paid for that service run... ;-)

RTS

Reply to
RTS

Heyyyy! I remember that fairytale " The Talking Flute"

Reply to
Jim Davis

How about Battery powered smoke detector at bottom of clothes hamper. (Took me about an hour to find that one walking around with finger in one ear and rolled up magazine held up to other ear)

Reply to
Jim Davis

Re your last one - - - - - Thought I'd mention it in case you don't know about it.

Do you use the method of rolling up a magazine and hold it up to one ear while plugging up the other ear? Looks dumb as you walk around with it but it's a great direction finder.

Reply to
Jim Davis

Random "Chirp", what about the weak battery in a "supervised" keyfob, (that NOBODY remembers programming) that gets moved around. (in and out of range).. While your trying to find the cause...... RTS

Reply to
RTS

Never used the rolled up magazine, but now I might, just to see if it helps. As I may have said here before my hearing is bad at high frequencies. I never hear the beeps unless I have my ear right on the keypad..... sometimes.

Recently I installed a Video Encoder on a NVR to pull in some old coax cameras. This was installed in a space that nobody visits very frequently. About 2 months after I installed and programmed the customer calls and says something is beeping in the room. Had him reboot items and when the Encoder was turned off the beeps stopped. Hmmmmmmmmm

So I went to the site to see if I could figure out what was going on with the Encoder. Upon arrival I heard NO BEEPS!! So my trick is to use my iPhone and the app for recording audio. Started recording and every 15 seconds the audio line would jump for a beep beep beep or blip blip blip.

Checked the programming and found that there is a setting to have an alarm if the HDD had some problem. Well there was not a HDD installed in the Encoder since all it was doing was converting the video signal to the NVR.

Needless to say when I unchecked that feature and clicked SAVE, the blips stopped.

The thing had been beeping for over 2 months. :-)

Reply to
ABLE1

On 4/11/2021 11:03 AM, Bob La Londe wrote: > I have had customers tell me the ___________ is beeping in the middle of > the night for no good reason. >

Them: The stupid alarm goes off everyday at 3:45 in the morning.

Me: What does the keypad say when the alarm is going off?

Them: System Ready

Me: You mean you aren't turning your alarm on when you go to bed at night.

Them: No.

Me: When do you use it?

Them: We haven't used it.

Me: So why do you have it monitored. I'll take your money, but honestly there is no point if you never use your alarm.

Them: What about the alarm going off?

Me: Oh, its not the alarm. You have an alarm clock somewhere nearby set for that time.

Them: Its coming from the keypad.

Me: That's pretty unlikely, but if you want to pay for an overtime after hours service call I'll be glad to come out around 3:30 so I can help you look for the alarm clock.

Them: That's ridiculous.

Me: Ok. Like I said find the alarm clock. I suggest a hammer to disable it, but just turning it off would also work.

Them: You are no help. Click.

~~~ Three days later ~~~

Them: We found the alarm clock.

Me: Thanks for letting me know.

Reply to
Bob La Londe

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