Recently installed customer sent me this:
If only I had known;
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH.
- Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, size 14-16. Pick them up at Goodwill cheap!
- Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
- Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
- Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,
I went for more ammunition. I'll be back soon. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.