From the Desk of David Pogue
> How to Survive a Tech Support Call
> The New York Times
> February 22, 2006
> OK, we all know that the tech-support problem is out of control these
> days. But just for fun, reader John Stumpf, ex-CIO and now just a
> "retired geek," wrote up a Guide to Dell Tech Support that's so
> clever/funny/smart, I had to pass it on. Please welcome substitute
> columnist John Stumpf.
> Preparatory Work
> So it has happened: you have fired up your Dell PC, and -- nothing. Or
> the dreaded "cannot find boot drive" or something like that. Now you
> are forced into the unenviable position of having to call Dell
> Off-shore Hardware Support. Look at it as a journey, one on which you
> will be tested, much like Job or Arthur Dent. You will descend into
> the ninth circle, but with the proper preparation, tools and attitude,
> you will return, a better person for it.
> First, before you call, prepare. Raid your kids' library and find some
> simple reading primers along the lines of "See Spot Run." This will
> help you speak in non-complex sentences and monosyllabic words.
> Make an appointment for that root canal you have been putting off.
> After what you are about to experience, you will look forward to it.
> Buy a speakerphone; it's tough to stay rational when your neck is > cramped.
> When you are ready to MAKE THE CALL, go to the bathroom, take an
> aspirin, get a book or crossword, stock up on water and nibbles
> (preferably ones with high sugar content and no nutritional value;
> Twinkies are good). Shoo the kids out of your den; it's possible that
> they will hear things that could cause serious psychological issues > later.
> Do your relaxation exercises; take a sip of water; remember Dan
> Rather's closing, "Courage." And MAKE THE CALL.
> What Happens Next
> ...
>
One had the audacity to ask me to reboot a critical production server. I explained to him that we had already done so during off-hours, run their diagnostic and had found out the drive was dead. Not the controller, the drive.
Takes about 20 minutes to pound into their heads that you want a replacement shipped. Just be prepared for it and don't lose your cool.
There was one instance in which my boss was unfamiliar with Dell support. His lack of knowledge meant a misson critical server was down for five days.
Luckily the dead drive was just dying and I was able to get a replacement drive and used a pencil to keep the old drive in the bay. Then I used ghost to copy the whole stripe set to two other drives we had bought in the meantime. Set it up as a RAID 10 array, snapped the bad drive out, put the new one in and all was well.