Last Laugh! Spam Email For Your Friends and Co-Workers

[TELECOM Digest Editor's Note: Nora Burch as a very clever web site called 'annoyyourfriends.com'. Ms. Burch _used to_ work for Harvard University until she got fired because of her web log (part of her overall web site.) Some of her humor is very good. I've sent the item below as part of a routine auto-ack to the several hundred folks who have sent me spam in the past few days. PAT]

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General Mills and AOL have recently merged to form the largest internet company in the world.

In an effort to remain at pace with this giant, Microsoft has introduced a new email tracking system as a way to keep Internet Explorer as the most popular browser on the market. This email is a beta test of the new software and Microsoft has generously offered to compensate who participate in the testing process.

For each person you send this email to, you will be given $500. For every person they give it to, you will be given an additional $300. For every person they send it to you will receive $1000,000. Microsoft will tally all the emails produced under your name over a two Week period and then email you with more instructions.

This beta test is only for PC and Commodore users because the email tracking device that contacts Microsoft is embedded into the code of MS DOS and "Centipede" for the Commodore-64 and VIC-20. I know you guys hate forwards. But I started this a month ago because I Was very short on things to do. A week ago I got an email personally from Bill Gates asking me For my address. I gave it to him on a napkin, written in lipstick and yesterday a brigade of silken-clad midgets personally delivered a check for $1,800,000 to my door. It really works. I wanted you to get a piece of the action. You won't regret it.

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[TELECOM Digest Editor's Note: Well Nora, I did not regret sending the above out to the nitwits who pester me with spam all the time. Thanks for the suggestion! PAT]