THINKERS ANONYMOUS

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.

I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors... They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.

"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote as a Republican...

Reply to
Jackcsg
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Reply to
JoeRaisin

"Jackcsg" a écrit dans le message de news: snipped-for-privacy@adelphia.com...

Now till the last line I had no damn idea where this was going to...then I fell of my chair,my wife had to give me a paper bag,cause I was hyperventilating.....my tummy still hurt cause I laugh fort too long..

do something like that again Jackson and I will call the police for trying to murder me...

Reply to
petem

Sorry Pete, everything's true except the last sentence. Guess, some thinkers were paying attention......

Reply to
Jackcsg

Or...just change the last word of the last sentence to any political party of your choice...it's universal it will work for any.

Reply to
Crash Gordon

Never was, but am on the fence leaning in that direction these days. I can't stand the whining from the left, I can't stand the rants from the right. We should fire them all and hire me _ I know I can do a better job.

Reply to
Crash Gordon

Yah...runaway.....

Reply to
Crash Gordon

Bite your tongue! I never pictured you for a Republican....

Reply to
Jackcsg

You'd be ahead of the game Rob. At least you have an exit strategy....

Reply to
Jackcsg

CRASH WILL GIVE YOU CASH I'll put pot in every chicken Vote for me and I'll set you free!

Reply to
Crash Gordon

CRASH FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

That could look cool on a button.

I'm Game, where do I sign up?

Crash Gord> Never was, but am on the fence leaning in that direction these days.

Reply to
JoeRaisin

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