It would be helpful if you spelled my name correctly.
Give up. Nobody is going to pay for dialup access at dialup speeds. Everything else is window dressing. Most of your ideas sound like unenforceable micromanagment, irrelevant drive, or science fiction, none of which is going to fly.
The basic problem with any internet cafe is making money. I have several as clients. Most such places cannot sell enough overpriced coffee and munchies to make a profit. In order to be profitable, they have to either charge by the minute, or have a high turnover on the tables. Laptop and computah users in general are table hogs, and will monopolize a table for hours, while buying the absolute minimum required. Even systems that offer "one hour internet for an $$$ purchase" will fail as the coffee shop is usually not setup to enforce their own rules. One of my clients shuts down the Wi-Fi when the place gets crowded to clear out the table hogs.
However, I can see why you like the idea of the carpeting climbing up the walls. It kinda suggests a padded cell or drunk tank.
Now, go away. I have a terabyte of data to recover off a slowly dying disk drive for $$$$.