What he has probably done is broken into the modem, and changed the settings sent by the cable provider to allow a higher transfer rate. This can be discovered by the cable provider by checking their logs. They can then resend the correct config file, and watch to see if it gets switched back again. At that point they know it's intentional, and they often will cancel the account.
If you value your account, you're playing a dangerous game allowing your friend to do this.
and so easy to procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned ½ cup cooking oil Carrots onions broccoli whole cabbage fresh green beans potato turnip celery tomato ½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta, serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat (of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp). Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue, as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh 1 cup shredded cabbage 1 cup bean sprouts 5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped 5 cloves minced garlic 4-6 ounces bamboo shoots Sherry chicken broth oil forbrown sugar
1 teaspoon sage 2 onions 6 cloves garlic bunch green onions, choppedCut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces that will fit in the grinder. Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate. Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well. Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again. Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh, but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery, or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed ¼ cup vegetable oil 2 large onions bell pepper celery garlic ½ cup red wine 3 Irish potatoes 2 large carrotsThis is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy, thus it does not have to be thickened. Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside. Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic. De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season w
limb, rack, or roast Potatoes, carrot Oil celery onions green onions parsley garlic salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stockMarinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts). Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions, and placing whole cloves deep into the meat. Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions, celery, green onions, and parsley. Place roast on top with fat side up. Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°. Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest. Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells; make patties if shell or head is not a
poke holes in top. Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Sudden Infant Death Soup
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup. Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned ½ cup cooking oil Carrots onions broccoli whole cabbage fresh green beans potato turnip celery tomato ½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta, serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
brown, remove. Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit. Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock. Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce. You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets, top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper. Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...
Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs
If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand, you can use a pound of ground pork instead. The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.
1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork 3 lb. ground beef 1 cup finely chopped onions 7 - 12 cloves garlic 1 cup seasoned bread crumbs ½ cup milk, 2 eggs Oregano basil salt pepper Italian seasoning, etc. Tomato gravy (see index) Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pastaMix the ground meats together in a large bowl, then mix each of the other ingredients. Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist (there should be one lying around for reference). Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes - or you could fry them in olive oil. Place the meatballs i
stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together then poke holes in top. Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Sudden Infant Death Soup
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup. Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned ½ cup cooking oil Carrots onions broccoli whole cabbage fresh green beans potato turnip celery tomato ½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta, serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat (of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or
the cabbage leaves then roll. Place seam down in a baking pan. Ladle tomato gravy on top, and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, so why not consume it? Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts) 4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese Flour eggwash (milk and eggs) seasoned bread crumbs 1 onion minced salt pepper butter olive oilPound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical cords so they won?t be tough). Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion then fold in half, trimming neatly. Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; allow to sit for a few minutes. Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown, about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb, poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery Onions bell peppers Wooden or metal skewersMarinate the meat overnight. Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers. Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats. Grill to medium rare, serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus. Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port. Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!
Crock-Pot Crack Baby
When the quivering, hopelessly addicted crack baby succumbs to death, get him immediately butchered and into the crock-pot, so that any remaining toxins will not be fatal. But don?t cook it too long, because like Blowfish, there is a perfect medium betwee
Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta, serve piping with hot bread and butter.
Offspring Rolls
Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat (of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp). Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s greatest virtue, as one can use the best part of a prime, rare, yearling, or the morticians occasional horror: a small miracle stopped short by a drunk driver, or the innocent victim of a drive-by shooting...
2 cups finely chopped very young human flesh 1 cup shredded cabbage 1 cup bean sprouts 5 sprigs green onion, finely chopped 5 cloves minced garlic 4-6 ounces bamboo shoots Sherry chicken broth oil for deep frying (1 gallon) Salt pepper soy & teriyaki minced ginger, etc. 1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in a little cold water 1 egg beatenMake the stuffing: Marinate the flesh in a mixture of soy and teriyaki sauces then stir fry in hot oil for till brown - about 1 minute, remove. Stir-fry the vegetables. Put the meat back into the wok and adjust the seasoning. De-glaze with sherry, cooking off the alcohol. Add broth (optional) cook a few more minutes. Add the cornstarch, cook a few minutes till thick, then place the stuffing into a colander and cool; 2 ho
that will fit in the grinder. Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate. Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well. Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again. Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh, but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery, or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed ¼ cup vegetable oil 2 large onions bell pepper celery garlic ½ cup red wine 3 Irish potatoes 2 large carrotsThis is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy, thus it does not have to be thickened. Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside. Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic. De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well. Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and seasoning as necessary. After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes, and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork. Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.
Pre-mie Pot Pie
When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry; red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).
Pie crust (see index) Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed Onions, bell pepper, celery ½ cup wine Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed
Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you will need one for the top also). Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones. Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth. Brown the onions, peppers and celery. Add the meat then season, continue
with a fork, seal the crusts together then poke holes in top. Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.
Sudden Infant Death Soup
SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup. Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and he?s good to go)!
SIDS victim, cleaned ½ cup cooking oil Carrots onions broccoli whole cabbage fresh green beans potato turnip celery tomato ½ stick butter
1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta,
add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely) and season well. Place in a large bowl and cool. Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy, enough to make the mixture pliable. Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll. Place seam down in a baking pan. Ladle tomato gravy on top, and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.
Umbilical Cordon Bleu
Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, so why not consume it? Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.
4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts) 4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese Flour eggwash (milk and eggs) seasoned bread crumbs 1 onion minced salt pepper butter olive oilPound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical cords so they won?t be tough). Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion then fold in half, trimming neatly. Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; allow to sit for a few minutes. Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown, about 6 minutes on each side.
Shish Kababes
As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb, poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans are no exception!
High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)
1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery Onions bell peppers Wooden or metal skewersMarinate the meat ov
frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee
The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table. They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose. Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the service stations.
Roast Leg of Amputee
By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes, and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook it to perfection!
1 high quality limb, rack, or roast Potatoes, carrot Oil celery onions green onions parsley garlic salt, pepper, etc 2 cups beef stockMarinate meat (optional, not necessary with better cuts). Season liberally and lace with garlic cloves by making incisions, and placing whole cloves deep into the meat. Grease a baking pan, and fill with a thick bed of onions, celery, green onions, and parsley. Place roast on top with fat side up. Place uncovered in 500° oven for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 325°. Bake till medium rare (150°) and let roast rest. Pour stock over onions and drippings, carve the meat and place the slices in the au jus.
Bisque à l?Enfant
Honor the memory of Grandma with this dish by utilizing her good silver soup tureen and her great grandchildren (crawfish, crab or lobster will work just as well, however this dish is classically made with crawfish).
Stuffed infant heads, stuffed crawfish heads, stuffed crab or lobster shells; make patties if shell or head is not available (such as with packaged crawfish, crab, or headless baby). Flour oil onions bell pep
water and seasoning as necessary. After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes, and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork. Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.
Pre-mie Pot Pie
When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry; red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).
Pie crust (see index) Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed Onions, bell pepper, celery ½ cup wine Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed
Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you will need one for the top also). Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones. Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth. Brown the onions, peppers and celery. Add the meat then season, continue browning. De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth. Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes. Allow to cool slightly. Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy, reduce oven to 325. Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together then poke holes i
hours, adding small amounts of water when it starts to stick. Stir frequently. When ready - serve with rice, grilled smoked sausage, green salad, and iced tea. Coffee and apple pie then brandy.
Maternity Ward Pot Luck Dinner
If you can?t get anything fresh from the hospital, nursery, or morgue; you can at least get rid of all the leftovers in your refrigerator.
1 - 2 lbs. cubed meat (human flesh, chicken, turkey, beef...) 1 -2 lbs. coarsely chopped vegetables (carrots, potatoes, turnips, cauliflower, cabbage...) Bell pepper onions garlic ginger salt pepper, etc. Olive oil butterBrown the meat and some chopped onions, peppers, and garilic in olive oil, place in baking dish, layer with vegetables seasoning and butter. Bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes. Serve with hot dinner rolls, fruit salad and sparkling water.
Bébé Buffet 1
Show off with whole roasted children replete with apples in mouths - and babies? heads stuffed with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.
Some suggestions
Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham, Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee
The guests
stripping off. Season generously, rubbing the mixture into the baby?s flesh. Place 1 quart water in a baking pan, the meat on a wire rack. Bake uncovered in 250° oven for 1½ hours. When browned, remove and glaze, return to oven and bake 20 minutes more to form a glaze. Cut ribs into individual pieces and serve with extra sauce.
Fresh Sausage
If it becomes necessary to hide the fact that you are eating human babies, this is the perfect solution. But if you are still paranoid, you can substitute pork butt.
5 lb. lean chuck roast 3 lb. prime baby butt 2 tablespoons each: salt black, white and cayenne peppers celery salt garlic powder parsley flakes brown sugar 1 teaspoon sage 2 onions 6 cloves garlic bunch green onions, choppedCut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces that will fit in the grinder. Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate. Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well. Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again. Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh, but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery, or use hig
Very unlikely.
I had intermittent loss of sync, then while futzing with the modem and router etc, I heard a "click" - further investigation revealed a reset button on the top of the modem that was making marginal contact, just barely touching the shelf above it! Yessir, that was it!
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