Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence.
There are inverter control arrangements readily available that will open the connection to the grid and divert the solar output to batteries on the loss of synchronization with the grid. These are not in common use but they do exist. As for the connection of generators to household wiring it is readily and inexpensively done. Listed transfer interlocks are available for sixty dollars or so from most electrical panel manufacturers. They are manual in operation but so long as the physical interlock is not tampered with in some radical way it is not possible to cross connect the utility and the localized power source. Thus I would quarrel with the statement that "The disconnect from the grid needs to be automatic and complete." It does not need to be either automatic or complete to be completely safe. In fact most transfer arrangements are not complete because between having a switch, or additional switch pole, to open the neutral conductor and isolating the neutral from ground at the generator the later is always cheaper although it is not always done.
Let me take a moment to say that the real risk of relying on the main breaker alone comes from two problems. The one you have addressed is human error. The other is the common existence of sneak current paths in many home wiring to grid connections. Examples of such paths include; power theft by a previous owner of the property, peek period metering arrangements for certain loads that were discontinued by simply paralleling the service conductors to a single meter; and the most common one, which is the existence of hundreds of thousands of split buss panels where the main disconnecting means is up to six breakers, switches, or pull outs rather than just one. When the back fed outlet is supplied from one of those six main breakers its utility supply pathway is always connected to the grid. Thus in order to get power into the home you have to close the disconnect that supplies the back fed outlet and the one that serves the lower portion of the panel that contains all of the single pole circuits. Doing that causes a grid back feed every time.
As for matching the load to the power source "second by second", that is where an inverter generator, or equivalent assembly such as a pup, battery, and inverter arrangement really shines. The inverter can adjust to the load much faster than any mechanical device and the Motor Generator (MG) does not have to adjust at all. The MG just keeps running at the same rate and leaves the battery to power the start up swings in the load. The MG need only be capable of carrying all of the running loads and can adjust to those loads at any rate that it can handle.
-- Tom Horne