OK, right away we know the "pristine email standards" requirement is BS. Red Cross is a spammer, and AOL is going to let them pay to get around spam filters.
I made a donation to the Red Cross for Katrina relief. (Please don't flame me; I realize now I should have donated to a better organization). Like most sites that accept credit card payments, they asked for an email address for confirmation. Fortunately, I gave them a throwaway one.
Subsequently, that address was bombarded with email from the Red Cross. Each one had an "opt out" link that directed me to a website. The language on that site was something to the effect of "Click here if you want us to stop sending you news and only send you requests for money". There was no option to stop ALL email from them. Finally, I disabled the address I had given them.